Daddy of the Year Course
Chapter 1: Mama Time- putting your spouse back on the pedestal
Chapter 2: Don’t Be the Screamer-stop embarrassing your kids
Chapter 3: Tornado Alley- keeping yourself safe while the wind blows
Chapter 4: The Vacuum- Learning to work alongside your kids
Chapter 5: The Tramp-Creating a great place to get to know their hearts
Chapter 6: Prom Night- Making your home the place where everyone comes
Chapter 7: 10 Mistakes- Hold off until you learn a better way
Chapter 8: Daddy Dates- Bonding and creating the best of memories
Chapter 9: Steamroller- games that will bring you so much joy
Chapter 10: Teach ‘em to Pray- Connection with deity can be crucial
Chapter 11: Daddy Interviews-questions that change lives
Chapter 12: Make Them Laugh-Humor the old fashion way
Chapter 13: Stock Market Crash-Why don’t we teach them money
Chapter 14: Eat What?-There's more to just Ben and Jerry’s
Chapter 15: The Jeep-The power of putting your kids to bed
Chapter 16: Daddy Trips- Best trip I ever took in 24 hours
Chapter 17: Daddy Devotionals-Sharing your sage
Chapter 18: The 4 C’s- destructive to the core
Here is a sample for you to read- Chapter 1.
This is dedicated to ….My two Grandfathers
As an lifelong avid golfer, I tend to think about life primarily in golf terms. If you are not a golfer, I hope you will forgive me for using the “18 Holes” language that I do. However, even for you non-golfers, it should be easy to follow. Put simply, a typical golf course has 18 holes, a front nine and a back nine. Because of this, the structure of my book made perfect sense to me written in this golf-like style. Golf has made me a better man, and I am grateful for the many ways it has taught me.
I would also like to thank my own father Alton, who has been so inspiring to me over the years. A true warrior of Daddy’s of the year everywhere and my example in so many facets of life. To the countless of other Dad’s so many people I have to be grateful for who have influenced my life for good and taught me the importance of being a dad. From my golfer grandfather and idol, Lorin B. Daniels, to the dozens of men who have influenced my life in so many fascinating ways, this book is dedicated to you. To my Grandfather Frank Schroeder who I have never met, as he drank himself to death and died when he was only 44 years of age. It is also a tribute to Dad’s everywhere who, like me, feel an overwhelming responsibility. Finally, I am grateful to my loving wife who has made me a better dad than I ever could have been without her. I am so grateful for the support that she has given me as “Dad” for almost 35 years now.
As a family counselor and a family advisor for the past 32 years, I thought it would be fun to accumulate some of the many fantastic things I have both learned along the way and hundreds of things I have learned from my clients and friends. This book is an accumulation of many wonderful ideas and thoughts that will help make any man stronger and the most important thing to put yourself in the running for Daddy of the Year. The most coveted award in the history of awards.
At a family reunion with my Dad, I just happened to be at the right place at the right time. I was playing catch with my brother Ron and just about 30 feet away was my Dad talking with his two brothers Lew and Reed. I heard Reed say to my dad, “Well your father would have been proud of you for that?” What I gasped, don’t you two have the same father? The look on my father's face was one I will never forget and he said back to me “it looks like I have got some explaining to do. All those years I thought my last name was Wade, when in reality it was Schroeder.
Yes, from the land of Germany. As you might imagine, I was so ready to talk to my dad and have him tell me about his story, and why he had never shared with me the real story about my grandfather. It was a very solemn meeting to say the least where my father let me know about how he never knew his father and the only time he ever met him was at his funeral. He was born to Emily and Frank in March 1943 and approximately 3 months after my father was born, they divorced. He was then aligned with his mother's parents who lived a few hours away and they helped to raise, if not raised my father most of his youth.
My amazing dad was raised without the loving care of his biological father. I have many times asked my dad, “Why were you such a dedicated and committed father?” I will forever remember many of his many answers, but none more than this one, “Because I never had one attend my games, put me to bed, tell me he loved me, take a picture of me on my first date, take me fishing, and I did not want you to have that same experience.” Fortunately, I did not. My dad married his sweetheart Diana and together they had eight children. Because I come from a family with amazing parents and outstanding siblings, I have been immersed in familial love since the day I was born. Even as a young child, I can remember being very excited to have a family of my own, and have loved the title “Dad” more than any other title I have ever received.
Truly, I consider the greatest gift my parents ever gave me was the strong desire they had to be great parents. Because of this, I have spent my life learning, preparing, and growing, as I have tried to follow their example in parenthood. Because of the home that they provided for me, I have desired to raise my five kids in a similarly loving, supportive, kind, and generous environment and my greatest hope that someone who reads this book will make that their number one goal to and therefore change the stars of someones life for the better.
Many times in years of counseling men will come in and say “I have the best marriage!” My question to them is always the same, “according to who? Or compared to who?” We have egotized everything in our culture to the point that we even believe things like ‘I have the best marriage.” How about I have a better marriage, or I am working on my marriage with great resolve? Or my marriage means the world to me and I want to make it the best I possibly can!”
However, too many fathers are not experiencing success in their role as dad, husband, soul mate and that to me, is devastating. If we do not make some needed changes, I fear that we will continue to watch more and more dad’s lose their enthusiasm for fatherhood. However, the position that a father has in society is too precious to lose. Dads are, in my opinion, just as important as mothers, and are desperately needed in families. While it is not my intention to rank parents, not compare them, I think we all understand the following depiction: If my mom and dad were out on a sailboat and the boat began to sink, us eight children would swim and rescue my mother, while trusting that my dad would find his way back to shore. Mother’s are simply the greatest thing to ever come into this world, and we must cherish them. What would I have done without my inspiring,believing always there to stand up for me, mother? However, I must also add, what would I have done without my amazing, exemplary, kind and thoughtful dad?
My hope in writing this book is to share with you some of the insights and valuable information that I have gained over a lifetime of learning from my own dad, from countless individuals that I have interviewed and counseled with, and from practicing myself. Because of that, this book will help you to become “Daddy of the Year.” Let me give you some back story on what I mean by that. On Christmas Day, 2015, my oldest son of five children presented me with an award that was titled “Daddy of the Year.” I have never been more proud of any other award I had previously earned in my life. Indeed, in my 55 years of many different types of sporting awards, trophies, and business plaques, none will ever come close to the award of “Daddy of the Year” from my kids. This is truly a gift that I will cherish throughout my life as the best present I have ever received. And the coolest thing is, you can get one too, it’s not a club or birthright or something that is not attainable for every man on this planet, we all can get the best award known to mankind, and I hope this book will inspire you to do so.
Type your paragraph here.
I guarantee that if you implement the 18 chapters along with the many suggestions that I present in this book, you will likewise be deserving of a “Daddy of the Year” award. The best part is that everyone can win. Everyone can be that Daddy of the Year. These suggestions, if followed correctly, will instill in your heart a greater desire to want to be a dad. In this role, you will feel an abundance of joy that comes from learning the proper tools and techniques that will bring success. I grew up in an insane competitive environment in the world of sports and this is not a competition, it’s a privilege and an honor, so make that shift right now from trying to be the best Dad, to just being one and the desire to be one will come naturally to you. In the back of this book is a certificate that I have created for you. I want you to go to it and rip it out right now. The first one is called “How to Become the Daddy of the Year.” Put it up on your mirror or at your desk at work to remind you of what you are learning here. I believe this will help you to better implement it as you learn and then practice these suggestions. Then, when you have completed the book, rip out the second certificate, sign it, and put it up on your wall.
In over 30 years of counseling and working with all different types of people with different experiences, I have realized something of great worth that I hope you, too, come to understand as you read this course. Being a father is one thing, but being a Dad is another. You may say, Aren’t they the same thing? Isn’t that just a play on words? However, by the time you get done reading this book I hope to instill a clear and precise picture of what it means to be a “Dad.” This is who you were born to be. Everyone has a biological father, but very few have a Dad. I’ve been fortunate enough to have one, and I likewise want to be the best one I can be and hope this book will inspire you to be the best one you can possibly be. There is a great thoughts “ that it's’ more difficult to get to the top then it is to stay there” You hear that in many circles.
So, let’s start playing the course. Follow and play each one of the following 18 holes and when you’re done reading and implementing these skills in your own “daddy” style, you will be well on your way to a joy that I could never adequately articulate in a book. Truly, the joy I feel from being a father is felt from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. It is my hope that after reading this book, the joy you find in being a dad will also increase.
Chapter 1: Mama Time- putting your spouse back on the pedestal
Hole #1 is something I am most passionate about, so I am sure this will come off quite strong. In fact, it may hit you right between the eyes and go straight to your heart. Please forgive any feelings you may have that are angry or resentful, or even pitted against me that jolt you or cause pain. That is not my intention! I hope this book will inspire you to improve, so I am willing to risk it for the biskit as my teenagers would say. This hole may very well be the most important concept this book offers. At the very least, it is an important foundation to all the rest. Before I dive into the content of how to be successful at this hole, I want you to ask yourself, “What am I doing to spend quality time with my wife right now, each day?” Write some of your thoughts here: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
While I may be biased in this assessment, I happened to marry the coolest girl on this planet. She is amazing, beautiful, and fun to be around. We have five amazing children who she both gave birth to and practically raised with a bit of help from me.(little) However, I have seen in almost every case (including my own), that bringing children into the equation and starting a family widens the gap between couples, meaning it can create separation in many different areas. Suddenly, it is very difficult to find a second to breath and spend quality time together. I get that. However, is it impossible to find a way to combat this? The answer is actually quite simple, but it requires first acknowledging that it is a problem, and then putting in effort to combat the division that children will cause between us..
I want you to evaluate how you spend your time. Most likely, the most detrimental time-sucker for you is your career, where some of us may be away from our families from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. (or longer) on workdays. Furthermore, most of us have other time-sucking culprits, such as hobbies we pour our time into or hours that we spend exercising. We also enjoy “bro-nights” with our friends or we might spend too much time on the golf course (I, of course, am not at all guilty of the latter-ha). These are only a few possibilities. Of course, there are countless more things that are competing for our time. Trying to properly juggle these things can be one of the most difficult tasks we face in finding time to spend with our wife in between it all. However, finding a balance and setting boundaries so that you can spend quality time with her each day will help you to become a better dad. Let me explain.
Question #1 Where do you waste the most of your time?
Years ago, when I was really struggling with this juggle as a young dad, I came up with the idea of taking my wife on a “date” every single day. Essentially, I made a commitment to find at least one moment every day to go out of my way to deliberately spend time with her. I would do this by planning it either every night before I went to bed or even better, I would sit down with her on Sunday mornings before the week began and we would plan out our dates for the week together. (That was the KEY-every Sunday Morning) We would go through each day and think of creative dates that we could incorporate into our busy schedules. Sometimes those dates would be a simple walk around our neighborhood at 5:30 a.m. when the world was quiet. Other times the dates would be at 11 p.m. at night when we were both exhausted but decided to break open a popsicle and sit on the edge of the diving board of our pool, dangling our feet in the water and just talking.
Of course, I understand how hard it can be to manage everything just right while also trying to find time for each other. It is so easy to think we don’t have time to do this; we genuinely believe that we are too busy and must therefore focus on the more “pressing” things on our plate. However, that is exactly what I want to challenge you on. What is it like when your marriage is on the rocks? Why are there so many divorces? Why is that statistic increasing at the rate it is? Why are we falling in and out of love so quickly? What are the real reasons out there? I do not believe that the onslaught of porn, adultery, drugs, and dishonesty are the only things to blame. I believe the main reason we are failing as both husbands and dads is because we are not taking the time these relationships need to flourish, and we don’t learn the tools and strategies needed and so we gradually grow apart and lose that sense of closeness that we once knew.
Question #2 Write down 5 things you loved about your spouse prior to marrying her?
Question #3 Now write down 5 dates you can remember!
Hole #1 can fill us with hope! I can promise you that by making small and extra effort every day, you will quickly find that it is one of the best investments and commitments you will ever make. Your marriage will improve. You will remain close to your wife, and you will become a better dad. Think about it for a minute, one of the coolest and most enduring things that we love about mom is that she is never worried about herself, always giving and helping others without any expectations in return. Selfless in their very nature, willing to climb up on the table of life and give birth and the courage to do so, it just really humbles me and makes me realize how much more I have to give and how much less I need to complain and excuse myself for my poor effort at times.
Question #4 Why is it that the person we love the most, we spend the least amount of time with?
#1___________________ #2 ____________________
Indeed, the #1 Hole that you need to master first is to give your wife your #1 time slot each day even if it’s just a moment together at 5:30 a.m. or 11:00 p.m. It could also be just helping her fold the laundry, doing the dishes together, or sweeping the floors for her while you let her put her feet up for a few minutes and just talk with you. It may only last five minutes, but even that is sufficient until you can find more time. It is important to remember that even five minutes of closeness is better than none. I challenge you to make this ritual a consistent pattern in your life. Not only will it bring more closeness between you and your spouse, but it will also increase your communication, as you will at least have five minutes to talk with each other that day.
Bonus: Valentines Day: Do something for her everyday without her knowing
Years ago I started saying to myself as Valentines came and went so quickly, “Why don’t I do this everyday for her?” And the birth of this idea came into my heart. Brent-Do something for her everyday and don’t let her know. So each morning from that time on, I woke up or wake up today and I identify one thing that she needs help with and I do my best to do it without her knowing. Surprisingly she finds recognizes that I have done a kind act for her or purchased something that wasn’t there before, like Where did the cute salt and pepper shakers come from, or hmm- I could have sworn that my bathroom mirror was dirty yesterday, it looks find today”
One of the things that drives me crazy in our culture is this so called Date Night. I get it- a movie- Chuck a rama and man she complete for the week and can hardly wait until your next date. So much thought and so much time you set aside to plan this remarkable night out on the town. I can be a sarcastic buffoon sometimes but I am barely reaching that right now. How much time do you give for your date nights? Remember how you were courting her and you would come up with some really good ideas.? Candle light dinners, hikes, picnics up the canyon, Watching the stars shine and sunsets and sunrises that were part of the deal. I just think we have reached an all time low when it comes to spending time together, so let me ask you to go through a few questions and answers before we go any further.
Question #5 When do you plan your daily dates with your spouse?
Question #6 What is the thing I Find fault with in my spouse? _________________________
Question #7 What is the #1 thing I can do right now to improve my marriage ? and Why
Question #8 What thing can we incorporate into our exercise program with my spouse and Why?
Question #9 When do you have your monthly financial review? _______________ and Why?
Question #10 When do you discuss and have your husband and wife weekly council?__________________? Why____________________________
Questions #11 When do you spend time talking about the 8 areas at Trust it Coaching? Physical,mental,emotional,spiritual,financial,business,social and sexual
One of the funniest stories about a marriage that clearly wasn’t taking the time to spend five minutes together each day is something I witnessed at church. I got home from our service one Sunday when my wife told me about something that happened in her class of all women. The class was participating in a discussion about marriage, when one of the ladies raised her hand and made a comment about how difficult her husband was being. She talked in depth about how all he wanted to do was to have sex with her, but he wasn’t communicating much with her and was often not involved in family activities. She talked about how he felt distant and that closeness that every woman longs for in her marriage wasn’t there. The following Sunday, this man happened to be giving a talk at church in front of the entire congregation when he, with a huge smile on his face, stated, “I wish everyone could have a marriage like mine. My wife and I get along so great and we are so happy together.” For a moment, the room was silent. Then, suddenly, the entire church began whispering to each other. The tension and embarrassment that his wife must have been feeling was so tangible. I looked over at my wife and she just rolled her eyes. You can imagine how the face of this man turned bright red when, a few minutes after church, he asked me why everyone was whispering when he made that comment. When I broke it to him that the week before his wife had pretty much unloaded on him at church to all the women, his red face quickly turned as white as Casper the Friendly Ghost. Classic
Is this not the very thing we are all trying to avoid in our relationships? This type of deception creates all sorts of challenges. However, the whole point of this chapter is to give you some tools to keep your marriage from getting to this point. Keeping your wife happy by dating her every day and taking time to really make a great marriage will also make you a better dad. Thus, I don’t wish to leave you hanging here, rather I now want to present you with some suggestions on how we can effectively communicate with our spouse and strengthen our marriages.
Question #12 What are 3 ways you can better your communication?
Bonus, make it a habit to take anywhere between 5 to 15 minutes each night to pull out your notebook or journal. This is a simple exercise, where you can take down notes of the highlights of your day, things you're working on, conversations you're having or any thoughts that come to your mind. I call these “butterflies,” as these thoughts are like messengers that deliver inspirational thoughts to you throughout the day. If you are wise, you will write them down. After completing this, I challenge you to discuss them with the person that means the most to you (your wife).
Here are a few questions to write down and ask yourself.
What can I do to take something off her plate?
What can I do to improve our relationship?
What can I do to help her feel more loved?
What can I do to help her with her own personals intentions and goals
Bonus, make it a habit to have a “Tarzan” moment each day Preferably at the end of the day. I get so tired of the superficial greeting, “How was your day honey?” Yeah, yeah. You know what follows, you may have a habit of doing this currently in your life. Typically, the answer is, “It was fine.” Instead of falling into this exchange, I encourage you to instead act like Tarzan with your wife. Indeed, one of the things that will make you feel like a man is when you get home, beat on your chest and sit down with your wife and actually tell her what you did that day. Let it all out, tell her everything that you did from the good to the not so good. I call this the “Tarzan” moment because it makes all the difference to truly process your day with your wife. And by all means take the same time to listen to hers. This often does leads to other conversations, and other good things (if you know what I mean).
Grandpa D had the coolest line: “If I can’t dance, If I can’t play rook, If I can’t play golf, If I can’t drive down to Von’s and get me a double scoop of ice cream, and If I can’t play a round under the sheets with my girl, then it’s time for me to head to the greener fairways up above Brent” Now If I can do all those in one day! Then your in heaven already. No wonder I love Grandpa D so much.
One of the most difficult thing for each one of us to do is to keep that lovelight burning. I don’t know anyone in all my years who does not struggle with this. So before we hit our next shot, let’s make a list of the 20 best dates you could go on with your sweetheart. (now go grab her/him and ask.)
There are so many angles to go here but let me be brief and to the point. One of the critical things to becoming father of the year is to align some of your likes with her likes. Here are just a few ideas. She likes to walk, she like to do yoga, she loves to swim and she loves to eat good foods and she loves to golf. I WISH. NOPE that one did not make her top 10 or top 20, but she loves it when I golf with my boys. So once you have identified some of those likes just simply align your like and your time along with them. It sounds so easy but I find marriages all the time that have not given this idea much thought. Here you go, it’s your turn to identify five things that she likes and write them down here and then talk to her about them and how you can implement something that I think helps along ways to avoid the boredom, I don’t know what to do to spend some time with my spouse blues. I see it everywhere, couples just don’t learn the skills to effectively align themselves. That’s where the magic is. Alignment.
Her top 5 things to do.
Question #13 When does your spouse have alone time to work on things that fill her/her up?
Question #14 What are two things I can do to show her more affection, that she is the love of my life?
Question #15 Who are her 3 best friends? How can you both spend good time with them? Or when does she spend time with them?
Question #16 What are two Hobbies we can do together?
Bonus: Don’t wait to be 28?- What does this mean? ________________________________
Let me just jump in on that last one Grandpa D taught me about. “If I can’t snuggle under the sheets” It’s one of the most challenging parts of playing the course. So many times men just want to go play a quick 9 holes and be done with it and she wants to play 18. See these beautiful women that we make love to need to play a few holes and take a few strokes before they want to take you to the next tee box. Men. slow down a bit please. I can’t tell you how many people? The number is high for sure that just struggle with their game when it comes time to play the course of Love making. Like learning to hit any club in your bag correctly, you must spend a bit of time out on the range practicing a bit. Having sex is one of the key factors to playing a good round in life and it’s in this round that we truly learn what our playing partner is all about, and what makes her tick and our marriage rich and wonderful.
I am not saying that to play a quick round of 9 holes is not ok, I am just saying check in with the starter, grab a drink at the turn and be a little bit more deliberate with each shot before you take the next one. Make time for each other and to enjoy the round. Truly meaningful and fulfilling time with each other requires a great deal of thought and patience. A wonderful man once taught me, if your not taking an hour to be intimate and make passionate love, your doing something else. LIke a good golf swing in motion that we all enjoy watching, be a bit more courteous and let the other foursome play through if it means letting them play a bit faster. Study the course a bit, get to know the course. There is a reason that we play a practice round before the tournament begins or even two or three rounds. Study the Yardage sheets and the course layout. Make her your most important playing partner and slow down.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF-- don’t try and change someone else. We have all heard that a hundred times. There is a really good shot for you right around the corner if you will commit to see the best qualities in each other than what no one else sees in your partner. Why do you think it’s a great idea to have a cadd?, Caddies can see what you may not be paying attention to and that is what we all need to focus on more often. See the good stuff and do your best to just cut her some slack for the stuff that really does not matter. This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship, that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. Don’t find fault with each other. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment, shame and guilt. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you. For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.
I know of nothing more detrimental to a human soul then to not feel like he or she is enough. It is by far the most tragic plague of our time. It’s everywhere in our society and churches and personal relationships. We must conquer this plague immediately and put it where it belongs- OUT OF BOUNDS.
Have you ever seen two golfers the same? No, we all swing the club differently and even though those technical analysis freaks do their best to make everyone swing the club the same way and try so hard to see the flaws so you can then rectify them. I am not saying that we don’t change, I am saying that celebrating each other's differences is really good to build a strong and healthy relationships. We all feel so much more comfortable when we feel that people understand us or “get” us Again, you are enough! Just the way you are or as I always say “AS IS”
When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one's partner for one's own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.
I spoke about this earlier, but it’s imperative to create the most wonderful relationship with the person that we care most about. Even if you have to see a chick flick. Ugghhh. Even 3 in one month. Ha. The challenge with a lot of chick flicks is that they are not like your relationship. They are not always real. But these movies can help keep the love light on and the sheets burning and that is so important. Some people say to me when I play golf. “Do you like playing the same course? Do you have a membership somewhere? And I respond by telling them that I do, but I love to shake it up a bit. Sometimes I will play the red tees and then white then blue tees and even the black tees. Sometimes we will just play with 3 clubs in our bag and sometimes we will not allow the putter to be used and that’s a very difficult game to play. I can’t overstress enough how important it is to mix things up in every area of life and of course under the covers too.
I am a big fan of fidelity and being true to the women I married and it makes it a lot easier when we mix it up a bit and as a good therapist told me one time- it’s called play time and we need to not only make time for it, but we need to play our game and allow her to play hers and stay within the boundaries that we set for one another. There are plenty of people who are far better teachers in this course than I am so I recommend that you reach out to those people and books and educate yourself extremely well on one of the most important parts of the game. The sex game.
Another great book that has opened many people eyes is the love language book that helps us to identify what language we speak most of the time. Have you read it? Get the book
Bonus- Every week go online and buy her something or stop by the store and pick her up something- Flowers monthly- and create an affectionate name for her. Babydoudious
Question #17 What are the things that turn your spouse on
Spending time at social events, time with family and doing "chores" together does not count as sacred time. Instead, carve out special time to not only be intimate, but also ensure that you continue to share new experiences together such as hiking, exploring someplace new, or arranging a staycation in your own city.
Do a 3 year plan together going over the 8 different things about your marriage
Great Daddy of the Year Tips
#1 Each Sunday at the table you go around and say what you like about each kid/spouse
#2 Help each child to understand what they love to do?
#3 Create Intentions/Visions Not Goals. Each week.
#4 I hope I screw this up- let mistakes happen.
#5 Give Compliments and Praise all day everyday
#6 Take Ring off for a week- Pretend your not married
#7 Never start a sentence with the word “YOU” Unless it’s “YOU are beautiful”
#8 We are OK.
Elder Holland: “Of all the things in the world that are worth your whole soul and devotion, it should be your spouse and your children. Short of being in the very presence of God, literally, you will never be more proximate to divinity than you are in the presence of your spouse and children. They deserve godly loyalty. They deserve divine attention. Husbands, when your wife asks you to do better, she's not talking about perfection. She's not criticizing you. She's saying, 'I need you. I need you to be here. I need you to listen. I need you to be nearby.' Wives, when your husbands are troubled or worried, and they will be because they would like to be perfect, too, what they need you to say is, 'You are OK now. You are alright now. We will work on perfection later. I love you like crazy right now, just the way you are.'” Elder Holland from his visit to Oxford. SO GOOD.
Monthly Team Goals
#1 Have a Day date together every day that is with intention. #2 Valentines every day.
#3 Finish a 3 year plan together
Monthly Individual Goal
#1 I don’t need to be Right.
#2 We are OK